Polyamory Diaries 12: Can A Marriage Survive Without Sex

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Welcome back to Polyamory Diaries, where we dive into the world of polyamorous relationships and explore the complexities and challenges that come with them. In this installment, we take a closer look at the question: Can a marriage survive without sex?

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The Polyamorous Perspective

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In the polyamorous community, the concept of marriage and sex is often viewed through a different lens than in monogamous relationships. Polyamorous individuals believe that love and intimacy can be shared with multiple partners, and that sexual expression is not limited to just one person. As a result, the idea of a marriage without sex may not be as taboo or unthinkable in the polyamorous world as it is in the monogamous one.

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However, this does not mean that polyamorous individuals do not value sex within their relationships. In fact, many polyamorous couples place a high importance on sexual connection and intimacy, and believe that it is a vital component of their relationships. But they also recognize that sexual desires and needs may vary from one partner to another, and that it is possible to have a fulfilling and successful marriage without traditional monogamous sexual exclusivity.

The Monogamous Perspective

In contrast, the idea of a marriage without sex is often met with skepticism and concern in the monogamous world. Many individuals believe that sex is a fundamental part of a marriage, and that a lack of sexual intimacy can lead to feelings of neglect, frustration, and ultimately, the breakdown of the relationship.

From a monogamous standpoint, the idea of opening up a marriage to other partners in order to fulfill sexual desires may be seen as a betrayal of the commitment and exclusivity that is expected within the marriage. The thought of sharing a partner's affections and physical intimacy with someone else can be a difficult pill to swallow for many monogamous individuals.

The Impact on Marriage

So, can a marriage survive without sex? The answer ultimately depends on the individuals involved and their unique circumstances. In some cases, a lack of sexual intimacy may not be a deal-breaker for a marriage, particularly if both partners are on the same page and are able to find other ways to connect and fulfill each other's needs.

For some couples, asexuality may be a factor that contributes to a lack of sexual activity within the marriage. Asexuality is a sexual orientation where an individual does not experience sexual attraction or desire, and it is estimated that around 1% of the population identifies as asexual. In these cases, a marriage can certainly survive without sex, as long as both partners are understanding and supportive of each other's needs.

However, for many couples, a lack of sexual intimacy can lead to feelings of frustration, resentment, and ultimately, the breakdown of the marriage. Sexual connection is often seen as a vital component of a healthy and fulfilling relationship, and when it is absent, it can take a toll on the emotional and physical well-being of both partners.

Exploring Non-Monogamy

For some couples, the idea of opening up their marriage to non-monogamous arrangements, such as polyamory, may be a way to address the issue of a lack of sexual intimacy. By allowing each partner to seek out sexual fulfillment with other partners while maintaining their commitment to each other, it is possible for a marriage to survive without traditional monogamous sexual exclusivity.

However, it is important to note that non-monogamous arrangements are not a one-size-fits-all solution, and they come with their own set of challenges and complexities. Communication, trust, and boundaries are crucial components of any non-monogamous relationship, and it requires a great deal of emotional maturity and self-awareness to navigate successfully.

Seeking Professional Help

If a lack of sexual intimacy is causing strain on a marriage, it may be beneficial for the couple to seek out professional help in the form of counseling or therapy. A qualified therapist can help the couple explore the root causes of their sexual issues and work towards finding solutions that are mutually beneficial for both partners.

Ultimately, whether a marriage can survive without sex depends on the individuals involved and their willingness to find alternative ways to connect and fulfill each other's needs. It is possible for a marriage to thrive without traditional monogamous sexual exclusivity, but it requires open communication, understanding, and a willingness to explore non-traditional relationship dynamics.

In conclusion, the question of whether a marriage can survive without sex is a complex and highly individualized one. While it is possible for some couples to navigate a lack of sexual intimacy and find fulfillment in other aspects of their relationship, for others, it may lead to the breakdown of the marriage. Ultimately, the key to success lies in open communication, empathy, and a willingness to explore alternative solutions that work for both partners.